Do you believe you have a purpose?
A reason for being?
A reason for existing?
Or do you just exist?
I’ll be honest. I don’t have the answer (if there is one). What I do have is evidence.
Evidence of how powerful the idea and pursuit of a purpose can be.
In this memo, I’m going to share how to find your purpose, from a man who found his at 24 years old.
I’ll be sharing my evidence on why I believe every man on this planet should be unreasonably committed to finding, clarifying, and executing on his felt sense of purpose.
Then I’ll unpack different tools to use for discovering your purpose.
Little side note before we start, I’m FIRED UP to be writing this memo right now. I’ve recently realized that I operate best in long-form content where I get to unpack my ideas and thinking in a single piece of content. You’ll be seeing a ton more long-form from me.
I have a laundry list of in-depth topics I want to cover with you guys, which I’m very confident will be extremely valuable for you in pursuit of mastery.
Growing up I was always an ambitious (sometimes too much) boy with everything I did. I have been setting goals since I could remember, trying my hand at unconventional ways of making money… be it selling knock-off hats, making and selling vape juice in my dad’s basement, and even getting caught up in selling weed during high school, ha!
Every venture, I’d always write out goals I had for the business and make a plan on how I was going to get rich off it.
Yet time and time again what happened?
I lost interest, fell out of love very quickly with the idea of making it work then let myself get distracted with the next thing.
Truthfully… this cycle of new exciting thing → high motivation → big goals → motivation wanes → new exciting thing kept happening in my life until I found my purpose. Now looking back at why this was happening, it’s become very clear.
(If you want to detailed look at all 25 jobs & ‘businesses’ I tried, My path to purpose)
I was chasing meaningless goals (to me)
Selling vape juice to minors… what kind of meaning does one extract from this?
The only meaning they ever really gave me was a means to make money, but as much as I wanted money, my actions constantly reflected I valued growth, progress, and fulfillment over money.
This showed me a huge lesson that has now been repeatedly confirmed through the data I collect from other men:
The majority of goals you set are meaningless and the only true meaning (if any) is in the pursuit of the goal, not the goal itself.
So back to you. Why do I say you will feel empty chasing your goals?
The goals you currently have set for yourself are most likely not goals you truly care about, quite frankly, they most likely aren’t even your goals. They are taken from society as pre-programmed goals we ‘should’ have without strong consideration if they align with you.
To live a meaningful life, we must have a self-generated purpose that possesses personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society's standards and expectations. Tal Ben-shahar.
One step further, if you have reflected on the goals you have and they seem aligned but haven’t examined the principles & values you live by, then you may be aligning goals to unaligned principles & values, leading to a similar conclusion.
An unexamined life is not worth living — Socrates
Here’s where it gets interesting:
For those who can’t see past your current goals in life, almost like they are seemingly at the horizon of your life, then you will most likely find the goals, regardless of what they are, to be more fulfilling and have a higher sense of meaning than if you see something more for yourself past these goals. Yet this is also a scary place to be as you may end up climbing the wrong mountain just to summit and realize it wasn’t what you wanted in the first place, something called 1st mountain goals.
When you’re finally wealthy, you’ll realize that isn’t what you were seeking in the first place. But that’s for another day — Naval Ravikant, How to get rich tweetstorm
Whereas I’ve been fortunate to be the opposite, I would always run the projections out so far into the future that the goals would get boring because I was what was potentially headed towards if I kept on this path.
BUT it seems to not always be like this, as this is where purpose comes in, true passion. When do this future pacing exercise and the results come back just as exciting, ideally even more exciting, that’s where purpose hangs out.
Let’s test this on your own life right now using the “then what?” question. Here’s how it works, take whatever goals you have right now. Visualize them in detail, and imagine what your life will be like once you’ve hit the goals…. Got it?
now ask the question, then what?
What do you do with yourself now that you achieved the farthest thing out you could see? What’s on the other side of this?
Are you sitting in your nice house with the Lambo parked out front just hanging around?
Is it you running a business you don’t love but have millions of dollars?
How does it feel? How do you feel?
If you came back feeling empty-handed… you might be chasing the wrong goals AND that’s okay, time to re-orient to the real goal of life.
So if the money, cars, women, nice things, and retiring at 35 isn’t the goal of life… what is?
Put simply, it’s mastery. Mastery of one’s self and environment, to express the best version of yourself, moment to moment.
Starting with the very nature of humans, back 300,000 years as hunter-gatherers.
Do you know who survived and was rewarded with reproduction? Only the best. When you run into another tribe or a Jaguar attacks, the weakling is the first to go. Similarly, they had to become masters at understanding the lands, the growth patterns, seasons, animals, trees, bushes, etc. otherwise they’re starving or eating the wrong food. There was even evidence back then of tribes killing off or leaving the sick & old members.
Mastery is built into our very DNA. But jerking off to half-naked woman online like a loser, isn’t, weird.
Fast forward to some wise mentors who can help us clear things up further.
First, we’re going to jump in the time machine and go back 2500 years to meet with Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher and polymath.
We land right inside Plato’s Academy where Aristotle was studying…
We approach Aristotle to cut right to the deep question: What is the meaning of life?
Aristotle responds without hesitation: The summum bonum (or “highest good”) of life is to live with what the ancient Greeks (and Stoics) called eudaimonia.
This is one of my favorite words since learning it. Eudaimonia translates to a sense of happiness, but not the happiness we think of in this world. It’s “experiencing the joy of fulfilling your highest potential”.
Fast forward to the modern day and we have Abraham Maslow, who studied what made us tick, what made us flourish the most, and gave us that clear sense of purpose and fulfillment. Abraham then came up with what we now know as the hierarchy of needs.
At the top of this is self-actualization. “What one can be, one must be” as Abe brilliantly said.
That is it, gents. Mastery. To fulfill your greatest potential here on earth, whatever that may be. It’s not a specific business, car, house, etc. It’s doing what you know to your core, is the best you can become.
Now, how do we do this? Well, that’s a big question. However, if we go back to our mentors, they have some evidence of what tends to work better than others… hint it’s not hitting a vape or sending selfies on Snapchat to girls all day.
Let’s ask Aristotle again: How do we live with eudaimonia?
Aristotle responds with one word: Aretḗ.
The word Aretḗ translates loosely to excellence or virtue but the better translation and closer to what Aristotle was referring to was expressing the best version of yourself moment to moment to moment.
When we live with Aretḗ, we’re closing the gap between who we’re capable of being vs. who we’re actually being.
And… the feeling that comes following this?
That’s the eudaimonic joy we’ve all felt before…
It’s like we become fully connected to our highest self, our soul, our daimon, and really God.
Reflection: Take a moment to think back to the last time you felt like you showed up as your best, most dominant self as a man. Now take that feeling and imagine if you could live the rest of your life with that feeling, that version of yourself showing up more and more often.
Empowering you to move from boy to man, from Demon to Daimon, to close the gap, and show up more and more consistently as your best, most dominant version of yourself is literally the ENTIRE goal of AboveMen. Let’s to work, brother.
Now I want to bring another mentor into the picture. Martin Seligman, founder of the positive psychology movement. Martin studied many of the ancient philosophies and religions around the world, including Christianity, Judaism, and Islam to ancient Greek philosophers, Taoism, Confucianism, Hinduism, and Buddhism.
And across ALL OF THEM… they all said the same time in different ways on how to play the ultimate game well: Live with virtue.
Now you might be asking… what virtues should I live with?
Well… I got some for you right here.
These are a combination of Aristotle and the Greeks mixed with Seligman’s universal virtues we noted across all the philosophies he studied. My mentor, Brian Johnson, turned them into a core 8, which just so happens to beautifully map to a compass as Brain created the ‘Virtue Compass’
If you were to start with these and these ONLY… you’d be on a great trajectory to experiencing Eudaimonia more often.
Atop of the universal virtues, Maslow outlined 19 characteristics he observed across all the self-actualizers he studied. They might be worth considering :)
First off, I LOVE reading these time and time again. FIRES ME UP. How about you?
Second, did anything within those that stood out to you? Pretty much all 8 virtues are woven into Maslow’s characteristics.
So to conclude the ultimate game we’re playing: Eudaimonia via Arete. To close the gap between who we’re capable of being vs. who we’re actually being. To realize all one can be. To self-actualize by putting our virtues in action. Today & Forever.
We know what the ultimate game is now, and how to play it well. It’s time to re-think our goals and get one step closer to feeling a deep sense of purpose in your life.
To start this journey there’s a brilliant concept of climbing 2 mountains in life by David Brooks. The idea is this, like we’ve explored, most of the world is stuck climbing the 1st mountain, which I like to call “Surviving well”.
The issue is 99% of people never summit this mountain to realize they were on the wrong mountain in the first place, which is exactly why 99% of people THINK money, cars, and materialistic things are the ultimate game.
However, we’ve now discovered that’s just not the case, and here’s a great illustration of what makes our society tick.
(insert lotto ad)
This is where the 2nd mountain enters: This is pursuing purpose, and fulfillment via meaningful goals… and guess what? You don’t have to summit the 1st before climbing the 2nd AND you never summit this mountain. You’re now playing the infinite game as James P. Carse then later, Simon Sinek talks about.
The goal of the 2nd mountain is just to be CLIMBING IT or playing the game, that’s the prize! As long as you’re playing the game, you’re winning. If we take this concept and pair it with Arete, it makes sense…. It’s about being the best version of us, not achieving it. To achieve is to finish. There is no finish line until die. Memento Mori.
Yet of course, you still want to find alignment with a meaningful goal to play the ultimate game within, and this is where the idea of ‘finding purpose’ lays. It resides within setting up a HUGE target for us to go after for life… maybe that target changes with the chapters of our life, but it’s felt sense of purpose we’re looking for which we can joyfully play the ultimate game within.
So whether you play the game as a CEO of a woman’s non-profit, a Shaman that takes men through spiritual journeys OR a for-profit business owner that impacts millions with their product… the choice is yours, but now within the lens of fulfillment and alignment
However, figuring out what goals or roles will be isn’t as simple as throwing darts at a wall and seeing what sticks, but let’s explore how to find an answer for you, now.
Timing: If you’re reading this far, you may feel more confusion and uncertainty then clarity and that’s okay. Quite frankly it’s normal when you come to these conclusions as I have years ago. These periods of ‘wandering’ are completely normal when you’ve poised yourself with this new challenge of figuring out ‘What is my purpose?’
Do not feel rushed to know this answer. For context, it took me about 6-7 months once I firmly decided to figure out my 2nd mountain. Now I wasn’t just sitting around all day thinking but I took periods to reflect, hold an empty mind, etc. Then when it starts to form you need to further crystallize it - more on this in a second.
Sense of: A small distinction I want to make here is the idea of a set purpose vs. a sense of purpose. Both stem from the same source, God, but one feels static and out of our control (set), while the other feels flowy and in our control (sense of). I believe it’s the latter that we’re after. You are choosing what gives you a sense of purpose. Whether that’s pre-destined for you or not… that’s for another conversation. However, you must do the work to seek out what gives this sense of purpose to then commit yourself to.
Thinking required: If you want to truly nail your 2nd mountain goal and find a deep sense of purpose, you need to be able to think clearly. This sounds obvious but in today’s world, our brains our overloaded and don’t have the proper space to think effectively on big topics like this. Here’s a great video to think better by a mentor of mine, Sam Ovens, on making decisions: Watch here (Part 1: reduce load is most important here to free up space to think) Another path most men today aren’t walking is the path of solitude. Spending time alone is vital to quieting the mind. Try this: Send the first 30-60 minutes of your mornings doing nothing for 7 days and see what happens with thoughts.
I think it’s important to share my experience of life since stepping into this new version of myself that has clarity on his purpose and mission in life.
Put simply, my life has NEVER been as joyful, challenging, and awe-inspiring as it is right now. I’m completely in love with life. I love all the challenges that come into my world of starting this business, AboveMen. I feel a deep sense of fulfillment on most days (I still have bad days, those don’t go away, trust me). I have a loving relationship with myself and a beautiful woman. I’ve built up the strongest discipline I’ve ever had in my life. I’m free from the chains of my phone, porn, drugs, and shit food. I have zero desire to engage in any of those as my mission and purpose is so exciting and big. I’ve made more money than ever before and it’s only continuing to climb. I’ve gotten more praise and respect from the people around me than ever before. In summary, I can’t point to one area of my life that hasn’t 10x’d from aligning my life with a deep sense of purpose and a clear mission to go after. Which is why I want the same for you. Keep going.
Ikigai is a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living.
Now the cool part of the Ikigai is the Japs went one set further to create a framework for us to narrow our focus.
So there’s 4 parts:
You might not have a lot under this, and that’s okay. I see this as you’ve either not tried enough OR you already have your answer clearly stated.
To expand on this, what are you good at OR what are you willing to learn and get good at? Skills aren’t static, and if you’re aiming to pursue a purpose for 10-50+ years, any skill can be learned with a desire to learn it.
This virtual can be anything now with the internet. Don’t let money stop you from pursuing a purpose you’re highly passionate about.
THIS. THIS ONE IS BIG. I would try to align your love & needs as much as you can. Look at this as trends or gaps in the world. Where is the world shifting towards and needs help growing into or what is the world missing and needs leaders like you to help fill the gap?
Take a piece of paper out, draw the 4 circles, and sit with it for an hour. Write everything that comes to mind. Then keep this close by… over the coming weeks and maybe even months, random ideas will come to add to the diagram, and write it down ASAP.
Eventually, a picture will start to emerge. You will begin to envision a reality where you’re in a new role with new goals, and they get you fired up, and inspired from the inside out. This is the sense of purpose forming. Here’s what to do next.
You act on it. Start forming a thesis on what you need to do to make this vision a reality.
What actions must be taken?
Who do you need to become?
What would the first couple of targets you set, look like?
When I was in the very early stages of incubating AboveMen I felt in this very weird place mentally, but looking back this was the very process needed to forge a purpose worth going after.
When I decided I wasn’t going to stick with my two partners at the video agency, I told myself… I had to figure this out once and for all… I was done jumping around from thing to thing feeling like I didn’t belong.
So over the next 7-9 months I slowly transitioned into this new reality where AboveMen exists. It started as one thing and then transformed, here’s what it looked like:
It’s important to note, I wouldn’t have been able to get to point 4 without the evolutions of the first 3.
So when the first idea comes around, act on it, start engaging with it until a new piece of the puzzle is shown, then don’t be afraid to iterate to the next revolution.
This could potentially be what you do for the rest of your life.
Here’s to finding your purpose…
And acting on it today.
With LOVE + GRATITUDE,
Cameron, Your Big Brother.
Ps. This after I wrote this memo, so much more was pouring out of me to talk about around purpose, goals, and finding fulfillment. Don't take this as a complete guide in any regards, it's merely a collection of thoughts around the idea of finding purpose, incomplete at that. I'll be writing another soon.
Got feedback or want my thoughts on something I didn't cover? Find me on Instagram @camrusselle.