We’re in beautiful Tulum, Mexico.
Sat across from each other at little Thai kitchen.
She’s crying.
“Fuck.”
As I write this, I’m currently 37,000 ft in the air (I asked the pilot).
Flying back from a 3-week trip in Tulum, Mx.
Part of my time abroad I spent with the woman I’m currently seeing. Here’s my takeaway on dealing with your woman’s emotions (based on recent experience).
I’ll provide some context to make sure my story can be valuable for you.
Jami and I have been talking for 5 months now. We’re not dating yet but the idea comes up. She just got accepted to a Naturopathy school starting in 2024. I plan to travel the world in 2024. A tension point of our relationship.
Now that you’re caught up, back to the dim-lit Thai kitchen on the side of the main street of downtown Tulum.
It started with us having an open conversation about some feelings.. Then in the theme of open conversation and traveling the world.. I spoke my mind.
“I know I’ve brought this up before but I can’t help but think about me leaving Vancouver and travelling… and where that leaves us… apart… before we’d be together long term”
Truthfully it didn’t come out as smoothly but that’s what writing is for, right?
So I sat there, silent, waiting for a logical and thought-out response… but all I got was watery eyes and a shift in energy… Right… we’re opposite genders… oops.
That little statements led us to a painful night of little talking and a couple of awkward moments (including her crying after I made her cum… that was a new one for both of us lol)
We eventually fall asleep… here’s where it gets interesting and the insight comes…
The morning, admittedly was still a little stale and slow. However, things quickly picked up and turned around. We were driving in our little white rental car down to the beautiful beach to get us a spot at a beach club when out of nowhere she asked: “Do you see life as black and white?”
Mhmm… A logical, philosophical question… where is this going I thought.
“No i wouldn’t say so… I think there are certain situations where it makes sense but life’s a spectrum” I curiously answered. waiting to see where this was going.
Silence.
What makes you ask that? I impatiently followed up.
“Well yesterday, when you were talking about your travel plans. It was as if it was already decided and there were no other options. It seemed so black or white is your thinking.”
She continued to explain a few options to see if I had considered alternatives to leaving each other for such a long time as she tackled her new career path.
Hmm… I never thought of that before I spoke up after she finished.
But then she opens up again with a serious and very genuine response: “I want you to do whatever will give you the best opportunities for yourself and your career, I don’t want to be a limitation to your success”
The conversation ended with me telling her I’d seriously consider what she came up with. The rest of the day was spectacular. Amazing music at a luxury beach club, trips into the ocean with her. Bit of work. Intimate dinner (Highly recco Porfirio’s on the hotel strip btw). and a romantic evening back at the Airbnb… Which led me to the realization that I wanted to share with you.
When a woman gets emotionally intense, a mediocre man wants to calm her down and discuss it, or leave and come back later when she is “sane.” A superior man penetrates her mood with imperturbable love and unwavering consciousness. If she still refuses to live more fully in love, after a time, he lets her go. – David Deida, Way Of The Superior Man
When your woman gets emotional, it’s their way of processing the experience. Be it a positive or negative one.
You as a man must recognize this about her and be okay with her volatility when it comes. Don’t shy away from it, don’t tell her off, and definitely don’t try to fight her emotions with your logic in the heat of the moment.
Sit with her in the feeling. Be it love or sadness. Be completely present and continue to give her unconditional love and steadiness. This is what she needs in moments like these.
When her mood shifted, I just sat there with her… now I’ll confess, I was slightly bothered, mainly by the judgment I was casting on her for not being able to handle her emotions, which is unfair to expect in the first place, so I held back showing or speaking it aloud.
I was also letting my mind desire to be elsewhere as a result of the judgment I was placing. Now looking back and pulling this insight. I’m committing to do nothing but be fully there for her next time.
So you should you next time your woman becomes emotional.
Another valuable insight I want to serve you with is something that I’ve noted many times over now dealing with women. Something I’m calling: the delayed response.
If we flashback to the first part of my story, no solutions were being offered or logical problem-solving happening at the moment.
Quite frankly I didn’t even know if she was fully grasping what I was saying. it felt all over the place.
But then… as we’re driving to the beach… she resurfaces the topic yet this time with potential solutions and a logical conversation.
So what happened?
She got the time she needed to emotionally process it and logically respond. In this case, it was less than 24hrs.
I’ve had it be multiple days before the logical response comes back around… but it almost always does.
Can you think to the last time you were faced with an emotional rollercoaster only to have a logical conversation or conclusion to follow it up, be it hours or days?
So next time you’re faced with an emotional outpour from your woman, be there, don’t flee, physically & mentally. Stay grounded and present. Show her love and support. Don’t try to have a logical conversation. Let her bring it back up when she’s had the time she needs to process it… and if she doesn’t, and it’s a serious enough topic… well maybe she’s not the one, brother.
Hope this was as valuable an insight for you as it was for me.
Thanks for becoming 1% better as a man with me today.
Do want me to talk more about dating and women? Let me know over at my instagram
Ps. I’m posting this a few months later from the time this was written. To further affirm my lesson here, for Christmas, Jami got me new travel bags, specifically for the travels she’s fearing. Very interesting. Women will support you in ways you can’t imagine if you’re strong in your pursuit and lead her confidently.
